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Author Miika Virtanen

I'm more of a Charles Bukowski-character, really. I don't care for most things as long as I have a ridiculous amount of cyder+rum and some killer tunes, man. However, unlike my hero I do know what punk is and also quite enjoy a seleceted few metal bands. I absolutely fucking loathe modern production and, like Mr. B with poetry, I find the worship of things that have been around for way too long to be innovative completely ridiculous. Musical likes are mostly old-school, but dislikes worship bands, hates anything modern and the UK brutal death metal scene. Essential reading: Notes of a Dirty Old Man, Pleasures of the Damned, Sunlight, Here I Am, The Most Beautiful Woman In Town.

Necocurse – Grip Of The Dead (Pulverised)

“Hellbutcher?! Is that you?” are my first thoughts as the debut album of Swedish death metal upstarts Necrocurse blasts from my brand new stereo. Surely there’s only one vocalist so interchangeable and recognizable at the same time… it’s glorious beyond… Continue Reading →

Into Darkness – Into Darkness (Hellthrasher)

Into Darkness, the new Star Trek film, is due out 2013… for those who cannot wait there’s a Milanese take on all that, in the form of death-worshippers Into Darkness (formed in 2011, 2 BSTID (Before Star Trek Into Darkness)…. Continue Reading →

Chapel Of Disease – Summoning Black Gods (F.D.A. Rekotz)

Having just reviewed Nominon’s new album The Cleansing, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to the task of ripping on another album of  ‘worship material’. Whilst extremely proficient in its capability to summon the ancient Swedish gods, the release had ultimately… Continue Reading →

Nominon – The Cleansing (Deathgasm)

Oh dear. Not this again! Music that genuinely tickles… no, ravages… my fancy, but is ‘oh so very cumbersome’ to put into words without plummeting into a cesspit of extreme-metal-reviewers’ clichés and ostensibly lazy references. Let us begin by rehashing… Continue Reading →

Uhrijuhla – Uhrijuhla (Svart Records)

Having grown up with – and generally having a soft spot for -Finnish rock/pop music (before AC/DC and Sabbath ripped my universe apart) this progressive occultish/poppy ensemble called Uhrijuhla (ludicrous official translation of The Wicker Man – actual meaning being… Continue Reading →

Ectovoid – Fractured in the Timeless Abyss (Hellthrasher Productions)

Helltrasher Productions present us with Ectovoid’s debut album, a blacked death affair – with no thrash in sight, ironically. Instead of calling ‘ol good midlands Brumingham their home, we’re talking Alabamians here… die-hards Yankee marauders of the darkened realms of… Continue Reading →

Autopsy – Born Undead (Peaceville)

A new Autopsy DVD already? I was barely done having sex with the previous mythbuster ‘Dark Crusades’. It brought us Autopsy’s legacy, the long-dead legend, a corpse that was never to rise again. We experienced a pack of teenagers playing… Continue Reading →

Resurgency – False Enlightenment (Hellthrasher Productions)

Resurgency hail from the Greek city of Athens and spend their days playing death metal the olde way. The band’s line-up comprises two members of rising force Necrovorous, namely Tolis B on bass and the ever-busy Vagelis Felonis on drums…. Continue Reading →

Coven – Worship New Gods (Shadow Kingdom)

What we have here is the debut album of Detroit’s Coven (so yeah, not the occult rock Jinx-Coven) – otherwise also known as Coven 13. Self-released on vinyl in 1987 (under Crom Records moniker), the full-length never received particularly broad… Continue Reading →

Tankard – A Girl Called Cerveza (Nuclear Blast)

Once upon a time Teutonia was a place unmatched when it came to dashing out punishing evil thrash. Bands like Sodom, Kreator, Poison, Destruction, Assassin and Minotaur acted as the spark for a revolution is extreme music. Another one of… Continue Reading →

Pontefractum Melancholicum – Anti (Depressive Illusions Records)

Pontefractum Melancholicum are a joke black metal band from Wakefield. It basically follows the lines of The Black Satan’s and other ‘super funny’ black metal parodies. This lot (one guy in his bedroom with Fruity Loops installed on his PC)… Continue Reading →

Blodhemn – Holmengraa (Indie Recordings)

Blodhemn are named after an Enslaved album … I do admit this sends cold shivers complete and utter monotony down my spine.  But as is so often the case, my spine knows naff all about black metal…  (As it turns… Continue Reading →

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