Finnish Industrial outfit Turmion Kätilӧt hail from Kuopio and their name literally translates to ‘Midwives of Ruin’. They’ve been doing the rounds for the best part of 2 decades and have finally got their big break with a signing to Nuclear Blast which will no doubt open plenty of doors for them. So naturally, a rather tasteless album cover of nude women wearing prisoner hoods kneeling next to a table of AK’s and other weapons is the perfect way to grab the spotlight eh? The ruinous one’s blend elements of Euro-Metal, Electronica, Industrial Metal and alternative metal, trying to mix things up to make styles like those performed by Marylin Manson, Combichrist, Rammstein and Children of Bo(re)dom into something cohesive. Yes, it doesn’t quite make sense, but after some digging round regarding this band, nothing makes sense in relation to them. So let’s see what this band is warning us about.

Well, the warning is that some of this release is infectiously catchy. There are plenty of memorable riffs and synth sequences across the album which will get stuck in your head for hours/days (delete where appropriate) and musically, if you ignore the twin-vocal assault, it’s pretty decent. The Rammstein like qualities are present in the absolutely massive guitar sound – huge walls of thick distortion slam into you, driven on by powerful rhythmic pulses which are part human, part programmed, and the Electronic Dance Music leads like those big name DJ’s David Guetta and Avicii are known for cap things off nicely – adding memorable sing-along sequences over party-like heavy riffs and vocals which sound like mindless schizophrenic shouting. In all, it’s musically sound and vocally headfucking, quite a mix and it kind-of works.

I say kind-of because all the tracks on this release have some great moments, courtesy of the synth and riffs, and some not so great moments, courtesy of the vocals.

Opening number “Naitu” is the best example of how catchy and good this band can be on this release. It’s like Alestorm but in Finnish and hooped up on PCP. Anthemic synth sequences, big slabs of riffs and a very hit-or-miss vocal offering creates a catchy party metal number with that industrial overtone and you can see why some places (coughmetalarchivescough) don’t class this as ‘metal’ – it’s got everything the metal sound has, but it’s just too much fun for those who take everything seriously! “Kyntövuohi” has a sound similar to that found on the much maligned FearFactory release ‘Digimortal’, but it has a phenomenal sing along chorus spot and the little key change trick for the final chorus gives it that extra lift and rather positive atmosphere.

“Viha Ja Rakkus” has a bit more of a melancholic air about it, but it still maintains that catchy and infectious nature – vocal and synth dominated verses, massive guitar driven choruses and breaks, it has the ‘rise for the occasion’ big moment feel but only in places. “Turvasana” sounds like something Static-X would have churned out circa 2002 with its solid pacing, headbanging riffs and electronically charged tempo whilst later in the release, “Sano Kun Riittӓӓ” forgoes the pattern and just embraces the techno-metal party feel, a feel which persists through the final tracks, “Jumalauta” and “Revi Minut Auki”. Whilst these final tracks do pack a positively charged party atmosphere, they’re pretty bland, a trend which seems to populate most of the release sadly, like I said, it has its moments where it rises to the occasion where needed.

This brief peak nature which persists across the album might just be how the band intend to sound and I can see why it would help them garner a following. Those big uplifting moments which surface in the choruses or specific sections of tracks must be a blast to experience live and the party-like atmosphere they would generate would be fantastic and a great laugh to be a part of in places like festivals or as the main-support band, but on record, this is something I personally would pass on. Musically, I can appreciate the effort put into the composition and the arrangements and how the end result plays out, but personally, my tastes do not align with this when it comes to the ‘Industrial’ umbrella. I’d say “Global Warning” is more like turbo-charged party metal or electronically augmented alternative metal compared to industrial metal, but hey, it (kind of) works whatever it is.

(5/10 Fraggle)

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