I used to find it hard to not take bands seriously. I mean obviously I was used and wise to the black humour of Slam and equally so that was part of the genres appeal for me. Yet when the lines became blurred and moved into Cybergrind, Pornogrind etc territory I suddenly lost a bit of interest citing such bands as nothing more than overblown spoof acts. I also got quite annoyed about bands such as Alestorm no longer dressing as pirates and other such meme worthy viewpoints. Alas in my musical maturity (or immaturity more like) I’ve begun to accept all manner of silly artists, now I thoroughly enjoyed stupid music, in fact the more stupid the better!

One such band whom somewhat helped me cross the bar of idiocy is the aptly named Engutturalment Cephaloslamectomy (great name). The Indiana based Slam enthusiasts formed in 2013 and promptly released an EP entitled 8.1.2. the following year, the name being a spoof of Devourment’s 1.3.8. compilation and the EP’s cover even featuring a comical rendition of the gruesome Molesting The Decapitated artwork. Yet then everything went silent, it was a sad time for me and many other Slam fans who had been so captivated by this over the top Slam gem. However, in 2020, in a time just when we need some comedy comes the band’s debut full length Glam Not Slam, put out through Gore House Productions, I’m very excited.

Instantly showing their humour is the introductory track Worthless Intro You Will Skip which basically sounds like the opening to every Slam album ever, and I’m glad they recognise this. Then comes Knights In Slammin’ Service which is like being reunited with an old friend as the Slam troupes are poured into our ears like hot wax. Pinging snares, chugging muddy riffs and guttural vocals swirl amid much memorability. My Studies At The Slamming Brutal Death University comes next providing further naughty Slams and massive hammer wielding moments of morbid ecstasy, truly the band have passed their exams here with flying colours. 8.1.2. And Life (Pitriffs Gone Wild) rounds off the first half of the album with some cheeky pinch harmonic riffs, pummelling drums and plenty of stomping Slam action.

Opening the second portion of the record is I Bless The Slams Down In Africa which even starts with a Toto inspired section. The track has some pretty tasty bass riffs too, they feel loose and thick and rumble beneath the general carnage of Engutturalment’s music. As the album continues forth it becomes slightly apparent that the album is a touch atonal. It’s by no means bad music and indeed I accept the irony of this band but none the less I think there could have been more power within the record, especially when you consider the strength of the bands EP. I wouldn’t wish to portray any dislike towards Engutturalment however as this album still has some stunning moments. Not least Overnight (Slamming Brutal Death Metal) Sensation which is an all-out sluggish Slam apocalypse and indeed purist in its old school Slam ideals. The conclusion comes in the form of No Ghey Black Metal! (Only Good Shit), it’s nothing new or ground-breaking but it’s a decent end to this release.

Is Glam Not Slam the greatest Slam record I’ve ever heard? No is the short answer, but is it fun? It sure is, and indeed for any die hard Slam fanatic this is a little piece of history, a humorous take on the stereotypes within the genre and overall just something to have a good laugh at. Equally I have absolutely no doubt that the crowd would kick off if this was played live. I can see the hammers flying and the scrunched up faces of impress at filthy BDM riffs. I would also note that this is a great little ‘my first Slam album’ for it exposes the genres ideals and gives listeners a real sense of what there is to be had from such a fantastic genre.

(8/10 George Caley)

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https://gorehouseproductions.bandcamp.com/album/glam-not-slam