Not something that you want to type into your browser at work! The title brings to mind the hedonism of ancient Rome or early 21st Century Akercocke. What Tomas Pettersson and cohorts offer is something a lot more sedate. Ordo Rosarius Equillibrio produce Martial Neofolk and have been doing so since 1993 in one way or another. This particular album was composed some 7 years ago and has now seen the light of day on Out of Line Records.

The tracks are musical essays on love and sex backed with classical nuances and EBM dungeon atmospheres.  Petterson’s vocal style is a cross between Brian Molko and VNV’s Ronan Harris.

I am sure for a certain person who gets excited in either Hot Topic or Cyber Dog that this album is the height of avant-garde romanticism. For me this is cod teenage poetry set to a basic neo classical backing track.  “I met Jesus In a Dream”  “There’s A Chalice with my Semen (and another with my Blood).  There’s not even a funky beat to dance to whilst he is asking people to “lick the semen off my face”. Each track dwindles on like a bored fluffer at an old folk’s orgy.  “This knife Will steal your heart – Let’s waken the Judas in You (please – really?) almost breaks into something with a bit more gusto. Almost. “Anoint me with vomit, and desecrate my beliefs”.  I thought Anal Cunt had things sewn up where it comes to titles over music but here comes a contender. This song sounds like Fifty Shades fan fiction by someone that has been to Torture Garden once and seen a GG Alin clip on youtube.  Edgy like Horlicks.

Imagine a reading randomly from a rhyming dictionary whilst someone hits the demo keys on a Casio keyboard and you have a great picture of this album.  The Goth and Industrial genres are filled with so much dross that really only exists as the best albums were already recorded in the 80’s and the new spooky kids clamour for something to call their own. They are welcome to it.

(2/10 Matt Mason)