“Burn Hollywood burn, taking down Tinseltown Burn Hollywood burn, burn down to the ground” a total banger of a song and just reading those words it should be going round in your head. However this is not the work of Lydon / Leftfield but of Emeric Levardon who I am assuming is French and part of the burgeoning synthwave, retro-electro scene that is becoming so damn popular at the moment. Blood Music seem to be doing a bang up job of bringing these acts to the masses and that is something that I am not complaining about in the slightest loving both the music and the old-school B movie film vibe that bristles through it all. If this were a film it would be somewhere in between Ed Wood’s ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space’ the cold war paranoia sci-fi films of the 60s through to Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks; the only question you should ask is are you ready to be invaded?

With the pomp of the ‘Opening Titles’ I at first thought I had put on a Turisas album but the Theremin warbles in over the orchestration and we are off on a sci-fi trip and a half that is all very Danny Elfman. Whoosh, ‘Black Saucers’ attack and we are off with a burgeoning beat and a massive Moroder-esque jaunt that is going to rock you out to the very core. The energetic pulses take me back to the first ever cassette album I bought ‘Geoff Love’s Big Disco Sound ‎– Close Encounters Of The Third Kind And Other Disco Galactic Themes’ yep I don’t mind admitting that at all as I bang my head along. Next the earth stands still ‘Scherzo No. 5 in Death Minor’ is pure Bernard Hermann via Richard Band’s Re-Animator before waltzing off and taking you trotting away with it running from those damn body snatchers taking over the planet. I can imagine this all going down a storm live with lasers and dry ice pumping it up and sweaty nerds and geeks going absolutely mental. No jocks allowed! As a title I want to see ‘Carnal Encounters Of The Third Kind’ and look to see if it’s one of the hundred dodgy Joe D’Amato movies I have missed and if Laura Gemser and Gabriele Tinti are going to save the planet. It’s suitably smooth and sensual with a bit of bump and grind and has me thinking “yeah baby” as it sleazes its way out the speakers.

‘Girls And Guns’ gives us an ass whopping one part Italian grindhouse the other 80’s bad US action. It’s got an almost futuristic game show theme going through it, Running Man Vs The Krypton Factor; there can be but one survivor gaining the prize here as She victoriously stomps the last body to dust. Post-apocalypse nightmare from ‘L’Era delle Ceneri’ those lasers have turned the earth to ashes and desperate survivors romp around the irradiated wasteland. How did they get those muscle cars? I must give Bruno Mattei’s Rats Night Of Terror a play when listening to this again. It’s a bit annoying that those pesky aliens have pissed off leaving the place in such a mess. They have even destroyed the Middle East listening to the ethnic Saharan tones of Bazaar Of The Damned.’ The warped synth noise on this one is absolutely excellent as is the vision of Bedouins on camels fleeing from alien savagery that goes through my head listening to it.

Right let’s get this said. I really don’t feel like this sorta stuff needs vocals not even when they are from the likes of hip acts like Grave Pleasures and Ulver. Things have been going so well here and the synthesized vocal sounds on a couple of numbers like ‘Came To Annihilate’ are all that is needed; perfect for the whole ethos of the music and narrative. Penultimate number ‘Survivors’ gets it totally wrong and spoils all good intentions especially after the pumping ‘Revenge Of The Black Saucers.’ Actually it is like one of those tracks that Leftfield put on albums, the soulful vocals just grate and annoy and I’m hitting the skip button onto the Jerry Goldsmith sounding end titles. Those are a bit long and I need a smoke so am out of my seat and off not looking to see if there are going to be any teasers for a part 2 but certainly hoping there will be. This has definitely been one of the most fun albums I have had the pleasure to review in a while but in all seriousness They Live and are out there, watching, waiting; you have been warned.

Synthwave is the future of the past!

(8/10 Pete Woods)

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