For those of you who are unfamiliar with Crepitation, let me give you a very brief introduction. Featuring members who appear in or have appeared in: Neuroma, Cancerous Womb, Amputated, Disfortune, Kastrated and Scatorgy, Horrific Sexual Atrocity and many more, the band have underwent as many line up changes as Axl Rose and his backing band have done over the years. With more merch designs than releases to their name and a huge cult following, let’s take a look at possibly the album of the year with the silliest song titles and the most brutal slams. Prepare for… well… Fuck it… Just prepare!
“Engulfed In Enjoogulation” opens the album up with the sinister sample from the film Silence of the Lambs… No, not the lotion in the basket one, the “would you fuck me? I’d fuck me” one… yeah, THAT part. The sample of Goodbye Horses then descends into what could best be described as a chaotic clusterfuck of brutal death metal. Grunts and Pig Squeals litter the track over blast-friendly drums and some insanely fast guitar and bass lines. The breakneck pace does have a groove to it if you actually focus on the music and halfway through we get the first big slam section. Big guitar riffs and tricky bass work hails the arrival of the arm raising and head banging moment before it goes full out once again to end. “Pathological Armoured Ferret Tank” opens up with Stan Smith of American Dad telling his daughter Hayley that he will rip her still beating heart out and eat it. The track then proceeds to live up to Stan’s promise as it kicks off with some rapidly pounding drums and ferocious guitar riffs smash into you, whilst the vocal noises make the track even more intense. Shifting freely between groove and blast, this track doesn’t let up and the thunderous slam section really caps it.
“Elephantitis Jimmy Hill Style Gigantic Chin Pandas” asks the question, ‘Have you ever tried slam dancing?’ before not giving you enough time to answer as a classic sounding death metal line, horrid vocal noises and a relentless rhythm section all come together for a real in your face, hard hitting track. Fast paced, it takes no prisoners as it rampages on and when the slam section kicks in, it hits like a truck. Heavy, frantic and powerful, it’s hard to resist headbanging to this one. “Slagatha Fistie And The Wank Machine” is another full on crazy track. Fast paced and full of blastbeats, the track just tears through with some real venom to it. The harsh grunted vocals help make this sound extremely heavy and they make the slow slam feel section even more crushing. “Paedophilic Back Passage Ensmashment” is one of the heaviest tracks on the album and a current staple of the band’s live set. With a powerful sound, it really brings the intensity of the album up a level. The drums blast like a motherfucker and the guitar and bass sound phenomenal – bringing heavy riffs and a full on death metal groove. Furious windmilling and slamming is mandatory for this track and when you hear it, you will understand.
“Shittifying Quaffage Of hideous Smegmatic Rectal Chunder” is probably the best song title you will see all year. It’s like the rest of the album so far in terms of speed and intensity, but the sound for this one is incredible. With tight guitar riffs that buzz like those of Prostitute Disfigurement, it draws the perfect balance between speed, groove and complexity. Evil sounding guitars, precise rapid drums, pounding bass and hard hitting vocal noises, this song has it all! “Velocirapist And the Slamosorearse Rex” starts off with a brutal wall of noise, spearheaded by a thunderously heavy bass and heavy as fuck guitar. The tone is incredibly heavy and when combined with the drums, it has a real crushing feel to it – like an actual dinosaur on PCP is stomping round on a rampage, audiably fucking its way through your head. Filled with great sounding riffs and some vocal noises which actually sound like a velociraptor at times, this one is powerful. Kudos for the brief Jurrasic Park death metal rendition in the song too!
“Spunkated Rapiesd Enfuckment” samples the opening lines of the 2014 dark themed film Cavalry and the exclamation of ‘Certainly a startling opening line’ is quite fitting. Hitting hard from the off, the harsh vocals, powerful sound and big groove pushes the intensity of the album even more to the point where if you don’t like this album already, it’s going to get even more uncomfortable for you. Extremely heavy with an evil feel to it, this track really hits home. It takes no prisoners and just when you think it’s safe to listen again, the momentary slow down is just a trap to lure you in as it explodes to life at the end of it. “Tummified Thinsulation Of Fetid Cranial Putrescence” is another hard hitting track from the off. The thick guitar sound and pounding bass drive a huge groove of heavy riffs as the drums continue to pound away relentlessly. The noises are well delivered as the track feels like one huge slam section. The big harmonic laden riff near the mid-point hits like a sledgehammer and the fast bits sound even more frantic with the vocal noises. Round the halfway point, the song abruptly stops and goes into an 80’s style techno track which sounds like backing music from a 16-bit era console game. In a live setting, given how silly Crepitation shows can get, expect some silly disco-slam dancing.
“Opthalmic Atrerial Hammerage” closes the album and it is the longest track on the release, clocking in at just short of three minutes. Like the other tracks, it’s intense and relentless from the off. Brutally heavy with a real crushing groove and phenomenal guitar and bass tone, kept in time by relentless drumming and flavoured with the grunts and screams of the vocalists, it pretty much draws the entire album together for one last ‘What in the actual fuck am I listening to?’ moment, filled with fast paced riffs and hard hitting groove laden slam sections. A great end to a very short album.
“Violence Of The Slams” is.. well, it is what it is. It’s 23 minutes and 12 seconds of insanity. An album which has taken the best part of almost a decade to create, Crepitation have finally released their first full length release and it mixes the balance of serious musicianship to twisted humour and piss taking brilliantly. With their cult following, intense live shows and completely hard to follow or even understand songs, this will be an album people either love or cause people to drink heavily so they forget what they listened to. If you look past the ridiculous song titles, incomprehensible vocal noises and gory artwork on the merch, you have a finely tuned death metal machine which knows how to hit fast and hard.
(7.5/10 Fraggle)
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