I have made occasional forays into trying to be modern, and an example of this is joining a couple of music groups on the ubiquitous Facebook. Once such group is dedicated, as its name suggests, to Stoner, Doom, and Sludge music. What has this got to do with The Grammers, described by their PR as “Classic Rock’s Northern Messengers”? All will be revealed soon. Somebody who rapped about “bitches”, “ho’s”, “bling” and “capping da poh-leece” put up a link to their self recorded album on the aforementioned Facebook page requesting opinions and I would assume in the hope of promoting sales, and was bombarded by less than polite messages, which they were silly enough to rise to, and thus get more insults. Now, I’m no authority on such urban music, and it may well be a fine example of the form, but what it certainly wasn’t is targeted at the correct likely audience. Ave Noctum’s banner proudly declares itself as a “source for atmospheric and extreme music.” That should have been an indicator to the label that they might have missed the mark by sending The Grammer’s sixth album ‘Journey’ for review!
Let me try and be positive. ‘Journey’ is a fine and clean light rock album, clearly played by folks who know how to navigate their instruments, and if your idea of a head banging good time is to rawk out to Bon Jovi, well, this might well be for you. For me, and I imagine the majority of readers of this site you are currently perusing, it is the best part of an hour of music that should be consigned to Eurovision, elevators in the headquarters building of evil corporations, and the sort of film a young Patrick Swayze could have shaken his exquisitely coiffured eighties mullet to! Album opener and title track ‘Journey’ sounds like a pub band tribute to the band that insists that you “don’t stop believin’”, complete with plinky-plonky pianos, cod guitar heroics, and insipid harmonies, and those are the high points. Nothing gets any better, and whilst I know that from my player, and the CD sleeve, there are eleven separate tracks, I would honestly have trouble telling one from next. ‘Kids’ is the one that starts with a few seconds of nicely mixed guitars and Hammond organ before tailing off into the bland; ‘Sweet Liberation’ is the one that starts with a few seconds of Southern rock twang before tailing off into the bland; ‘Signs of the War’ is the one that starts a few seconds of layered feedback before tailing off into the bland; are you starting to get my drift yet?
The folks in the band are without a shadow of a doubt better and more dedicated musicians than I ever was or are likely to be unless I change my whole life to dedicate it to practice, and I wish them every success. However, and I hate to be so negative, but by sending their admittedly finely packaged and illustrated CD to Ave Noctum, they have really missed their audience.
(1/10 Spenny)
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