Hopefully you have not just heard of the books about fictional metal band Eviscerated Panda by now but have grabbed and devoured them. If not, well they are about a metal act based in Reading England who have over three novels gone through the process that many a hard working group does, moving through the trials and tribulations of forming, keeping a stable line-up, playing gigs and cutting their first disc. These are a warts and all look at exactly what it is like attempting to play the music that you love and getting others to join in as you build up a fan-base. There is absolutely no glamour but a true to life study that anyone with knowledge of the music scene outside reality TV and processed bullshit will be able to identify with and the good news is the author is hard at work with the next part of what has obviously become a popular series, which has outgrown the restraints of its original planned trilogy.
Aside from this Sarah has also been working on what is a bit of a prequel for one of the series’ most popular characters Cleo Howard and let us into her most intimate thoughts by allowing access to her diary, written when she was at that all too difficult age approaching the freedom, hopes and dreams that will come as she turns 16. She still has some freedoms luckily which along with the help of good make up allow her to spend absolutely without fail every Saturday night down the local metal pub The Green Man. Naturally it’s a tricky stage of life, hormones raging and in her case the preoccupation of hoping her breasts grow to more than a mere handful as well as all those other important questions about life the universe and everything. Luckily she is a keen reader and has discovered Douglas Adams so may well find some of the answers she is looking for.
Also integral to this, which is authentically published in a day to day diary format are best friends Ian, prior to becoming a rock god with Eviscerated Panda and fellow school mate posh Goth Jenni who along with Cleo would become one of the group’s main followers as they take off on their later journey. There are a group of friends at the pub as well as others at the school to enrich the tale along with teachers and family and as with the other books this is very character driven. It is also very amusing and the parts about class pervert Mark Dobbs and Carina Norman, the trendy bitch are always funny and leave you waiting for the next time they crop up.
Cleo has to cope with plenty of emotions which are especially trying as her mum and dad have recently split. She lives with her mother who is often in a neurotic state of mind and only gets to see her dad every two weeks. Boys are naturally a major fixation for her and Jenni and they regularly list those who appeal on their Gods list both in bands and international and those on the local scene in Reading. Other steps on the journey to adulthood are equally important, such as going to their first gig, something not that easy despite living in a town that hosts a major festival and making that all important step everyone has to contend with at some point, ditching Kerrang and moving on to Terrorizer.
The biggest problem I had with this was not devouring it in one sitting. I forced myself to read this a month at a time as I wanted this to last; happily I will no doubt come back to it in the future and race through it a second time. As you can imagine it moves at a fair old pace and there is lots going on with all the characters within it. Like life though it may dish out a sting or two along the way and this is skilfully handled by the author who succeeds to take you out of your comfort zone at times and leave you reeling.
I would imagine it is a journey that most of our readers will be able to identify with in a lot of ways (although obviously in this reviewers case without the trials and tribulations of bra sizes and periods) and this is as described a very metal diary, which although obviously part inspired by the likes of Sue Townsend’s Adrian Mole one that is much more of a personal trip to those that love the music that we do and grew up with. Historically it is completely in context up to the point where the author no doubt had to go back and see what was in particular editions of certain magazines like the aforementioned Kerrang. Sure it was a lot later than the time period that I and older readers may have developed our tastes in (1997) but it is certainly a time that we will be more than able to remember well.
It’s no surprise that this has left me hungering for the fourth part of the Eviscerated Panda series but it is something you could happily read without having gone through them first. It also makes me wonder if the author has thought about writing a second diary too as there is still a gap in the very likeable story of Cleo Howard that will be an enticing one to follow.
Grab this, make a cuppa, stock up on chocolate biscuits and enjoy.
(Pete Woods)
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