Australian pop Goth metallers The Creptter Children were formed in 2005 by members Iballa Chantelle & N8OR and as there is hardly any information on them I’m delving straight into their debut album..

A terrible intro to the first track ‘Feel my Pain’ reminds me much of the female vocalist from cheesy europopsters Aqua.  The guitars in this are equally as pungent. As cheese goes, I’d say this would be a good smelly sweaty blue! The daft keyboards are just added to the stench.  ‘High’ offers something a little better, the under 16’s teenygoths will class this as metal. However, it still failed to impress me and the singing and wailing sounds a lot the same as the previous track.

‘I live’ has something there, yet definitely needs some work on it. Get rid of the cheesy keyboards and stop trying to be Gwen Stefani on vocals.. It only just works for her!  The vocalist obviously has a bit of talent but wastes it on imitating someone else.

And just when I didn’t think it could get any worse…. A Britney Spears sounding track with lots of vocal effects and crappy electro drumming.

Moving on to ‘Picking on Me’ which opens up with some pretty cool screaming vocals, unfortunately what follows is anything but impressive. Lots of noise… and that’s about it! Picking on you indeed….

If I had to pick one track on the album that I was forced to listen to again (and I mean forced) it would probably be ‘Possessed’ due to it having a bit of melody and the old style radio microphone type effect on the vocals which wasn’t too painful on the ears. Half decent I’d say!

Ending on ‘The Bridge’ with more gothic metal stuff. Boring and droney with a chorus of a choir sounding from their local council estate. Not a good sound.

Having listened to this a few times (I was trying to give them a fair go) it’s going to have to be known, that I’d never pick this up in a shop. If they had an OK CD cover and it was in the bargain bin… then still no. Definitely the worst album I’ve heard in a long time…

(1/10 Charlene Rance)

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