Pontefractum Melancholicum are a joke black metal band from Wakefield. It basically follows the lines of The Black Satan’s and other ‘super funny’ black metal parodies. This lot (one guy in his bedroom with Fruity Loops installed on his PC) take it all into a different direction, seemingly wanting to swindle listeners with lacking familiarity of the genre into believing this is a genuine product. Hence the release is limited to 100 tapes and 33 CDrs, another super funny black metal cliché, I literally cannot stop crying with laughter, you really got me, muahaha.  Following the same tradition the release comes with a patch.

The guitars here comes across as improvised onto a programmed drum-track on the spot. The riffs are something someone who has missed the point of extreme music would play… and frankly that is probably meant to be the punch line here: “Look how easy it is, hahaha”. No complete tracks here, just ideas plainly referring to the three bands that this dude has heard. Vocals are random grunts, clearly meant to refer to the usual BM cliché, somewhat similar to what gore vocals sound to these ears… just grunts based more on timing than words.

So here you have it, the one thousandth black metal parody band, this time fromWakefield, with an even worse production than you’ve heard before. What a waste of CDrs.

(Unmarked, Miika Virtanen)